Miami Vice

An On Demand selection. A movie that boldly asks what "Miami Vice" would have been like sucked of every drop of camp and given license to curse. In a daring artistic choice, anticipating Mel Gibson's decision to film a movie in ancient Aramaic, the screenwriter chose to script the whole thing in contemporary Testoteronic. This language relies heavily on the near-grunt and springs to life mainly when there is technology to be discussed or threats to be issued while staring murderously into the eyes of one's enemies. It has no words for "humor" or "irony." Oops! Yes it does: "gay." The women of Miami speak it fluently, though their role in the movie is mostly limited to being put in grave peril so their boyfriends can show emotion by turning away and clutching their guns a little tighter. Rumor has it that Jaime Foxx and Colin Farrell weren't exactly acting when it came to the macho posturing, and it's clear that their role-preparation consisted mainly of staring lovingly at themselves in weight-room mirrors as their pecs swelled to lactative proportions.